What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

What is your first experience having sex with older men?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

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Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

TEXT:

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Can I fix a fridge leak myself, or should I call a pro?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Gun owners, imagine if an attacker comes to your home and takes your gun to use against you before you had the chance to pick it up. Would you regret owning a gun?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Make Nazis afraid again!

How did you react when your doctor ordered a colonoscopy?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

What are some common lies that addicts may tell themselves?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

What are some ways to improve speed in sprinting, running uphill, and long/middle distance running?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...